Ok, so you’ve been giving yourself the space, time, and effort to do some inner work. You long for more peace of mind, happiness, and contentment in your life, relationships, and work (or in retirement). You’ve been learning about this, that, and the other thing. But… a lot of these teachings, 'awarenesses,' and coping strategies are easier said (or read) than done!
Here's a gentle reminder: Without offering yourself compassion, your mind will continue to play tricks on you by feeding you old beliefs, thoughts, and recurring emotional patterns. The question remains: What does offering myself compassion look like? Let's explore this together.
First, it’s important to become aware of your dominant emotional state when you're not joyful. Are you prone to anger, sadness, or fear? Perhaps you experience a combination of strong emotions when something happens and you are triggered. Many of us go straight to anger, feeling frustrated, pressured, and irritated. Some turn to sadness, depression, and lack the desire to do anything. Others may feel worry, anxiety, and fear, wanting to pull away and hide. Each person has an emotional pattern—a go-to response when something happens that triggers the mind into believing it will have the same result as a similar past experience.
Let me share my emotional pattern and one of my triggers. When I feel too much pressure from all sides, my mind tells me that I am alone in this battle, that no one is there to support me, and that I’m a failure for thinking I can do all the things that need to be done. On and on it goes. Not a very healthy thought process, right? But who are we to judge? This is where compassion comes in! Compassion is about giving space for the ugly, the uncomfortable, and the pattern to be acknowledged. Afterwards, comes the mind shifts and the emotional understanding and release for greater inner balance.
Compassion requires us to offer the "Triple AAA" process each time we want to make personal growth changes. First, we become Aware of what our mind is feeding us. Second, we Allow those unserving thoughts to be present in the moment (most likely they are beliefs our minds formed as part of a resiliency strategy from past painful experiences). Lastly, we Accept that our minds create these neural pathway connections, leading to emotional pattern responses.
In my case, the emotional pattern response from 'feeling pressure' is directly connected to ANGER: Agitated, Nuts, Gall, Enflamed, Roused—possibly the ugliest, yet most powerful emotion! It’s anger that helps me get things done because it’s filled with determination. However, when I’m triggered and become agitated, I lose all sense of what calm and peace feel like. Sadness and fear often join my anger, leading to thoughts like, "I want to run away, take a hike, leave everyone behind." Then my anger comes out—not physically, but I become closed off and pull away. Simply put: I don’t want to be around people. I want to hop on a plane and go far, far away. Internally, I feel like the female version of the Hulk. I verbalize why I feel so angry. And, of course, my words are not gentle, joyful, or peaceful. I can trace this feeling back 50 years to my earliest memory of feeling this way physically, emotionally, and mentally. Anger is ugly. It’s so much more difficult to accept than sadness or fear. Anger is strong and forceful. For as long as I can remember, I’ve pulled myself away whenever I started feeling this ugly anger creep up. For me, this was a form of 'Time Out.' Though I’ve made great strides in achieving a sense of emotional and mental inner balance much of the time, I am occasionally triggered, and my anger resurfaces. In offering compassion to myself, I face it, follow the Triple AAA process, and use strategies that help me shift my mindset and emotional patterns.
Compassion is key to 'Holding The Course' while doing personal development work! Remember the Triple AAA next time you are triggered, have unserving, recurring thoughts playing out in your mind, and exhibit emotional pattern responses that pull you out of joy, contentment, and peace. Help yourself rebalance and shift. Pull out a releasing technique from your self-help toolkit and follow through with the most important component: shifting your mindset and regulating your emotional response. Take the time to learn from your experience to help change the pattern of behavior that caused you to get triggered in the first place. In my case, it was the pressure I felt externally combined with the added pressure I was putting on myself internally.
It is self-awareness that leads to greater inner peace. It is self-forgiveness that leads to greater awareness. And it is the gift of compassion that leads to greater personal development.
Live Life to the Fullest - Live Life Out Loud.
Michelle xox
I created the 21 Day Mindfit4Life Transformation Program for anyone wanting to become more self-aware, learn strategies to release and make lasting shifts more quickly and lastingly than ever! I chose to make it very affordable and promise you a lifetime membership to this program, including all future updates. https://www.emotionalfitnesslife.ca/21daytransformation
Michelle Gallant-Richards is the founder of Mindfit4Life, a licensed Emotional Fitness instructor, a registered reflexology therapist and a former school teacher with over 20 years experience.
Comments